Joel Freeland is as smooth as a baby's arse. Maybe even smoother than that. Get a baby's arse, sand it down a bit, then cover it in twenty coats of premium grade varnish while listening to Teddy Pendergrass records. Then cover your newly varnished baby's arse in butter, draw a picture of Henry Winkler on it, and nail it to the inside of a Bentley Maybach. Not only will you have violated numerous international child welfare laws and be sent to prison for twenty thousand years, but you will also have made a surface almost as smooth as Joel Freeland's playing style. It's smoooooooooth.
Freeland is a tall and athletic big man, with the sensuous touch of a high class escort and the polish of a limo's sunroof. His offensive mainstay is his jumpshot, which is suitably smooth out to about 18 feet, but he's also developed some good touch on the interior, a hook shot, soft hands and some post footwork. He can run the floor well for his size, and has a good handle of the ball as well. Freeland rebounds well, has good shot blocking instincts, and good lateral quickness for a big man. He's a tad foul prone, not overly physical and turnover prone, but his brilliance is unrelenting and his abilities eternally outstanding.
If I've made it sound like Joel Freeland is capable of everything, then that's because he is. If I've also made it sound like I'm biased towards everything Joel Freeland ever says or does, then that's because I am.
- 18th August, 2009.